Near Miss: When something you REALLY want comes very close to you but then disappears into the sunset….
Near misses can be incredibly disappointing but….if you have recently experienced one this blog is perfect for you! Near misses are simply preparing you for something even better! Keep reading for examples from 3 different people whose near misses prepared them for the “real” thing.
Ready for a relationship?
My friends Marco and Lisa (not their real names) were both looking for a serious relationships. They live in different state but one day God “nudged” me to make an introduction and I happened to overhear Marco say he was visiting Lisa’s town the following month. They seemed incredibly well matched so I brought her up to Marco and asked if he wanted an introduction. He was open to it, particularly since it seemed like a “divine appointment”. I talked to Lisa and she was also really excited but a couple of days later, when I tried to make the introduction, all the sudden her tone changed and she was adamant she did not want to be involved in a long distance relationship, even if he was willing to move if it became serious. The 180 degree turn surprised us all…but it was exactly what Marco needed!
Months later when I talked to Marco, he mentioned how the “near miss” caused him to realize he didn’t have any space in his life or his heart for a relationship. This near miss led him to re-evaluate priorities, consider whether he was emotionally ready for a relationship and, amazingly, he discovered someone he had known for a few years…right there in front of him, but hidden behind his busy schedule and protected heart. Now he had some room in his life, and was willing to take a risk, and they are really enjoying spending time together. It is too soon to tell if this is also a near miss or not but, in either case, it is a step toward what he knows he really wants.
The Power of our Perceived Value:
A really good friend was recently approached by a co-worker who had moved to a different company months before. My friend was perfect for a new position the co-worker’s company was creating and, after a number of interviews, it seemed she had the job. The salary was significantly higher than her current salary and she was thrilled beyond belief.
Then, the offer completely fell apart. My friend had no idea what to make of it, but discovered how incredibly disappointed she was. Somehow the “near miss” woke her up to the value of her work and how far she had moved beyond the initial job responsibilities of her current position. This altered perception of herself and her work, increased her confidence, and prepared her for the compensation conversation she had with her manager a couple of months later. She and her manager were both able to see the value of her position in a very different way, and, even though the compensation is not what the other company was offering, some other incredibly important benefits associated with staying were just what my friend needed to make a decision to stick around. The “near miss” was a real boost for her!
Layoff Preparation:
Debra (not her real name) was very happy in her job for many months and then something happened. Abruptly, in between 2 of our meetings, she went from happy to distracted, lacking focus, and unsure about her future at her company. At that same moment three “coincidences” happened leading her to the next step in her career:
- The first coincidence was a “chance” connection with a very large and powerful company which led to an interview for a stretch position for Debra. From the interview, she tangibly discovered the value of a new skillset she had been working on.
- The second coincidence was receiving research that detailed the monetary value of her new skillset.
- The third coincidence was an open position at a company where one of her good friends worked. They had an opening that relied heavily on her new skillset and paid significantly more than her current position.
During the time these three things all happened, Debra learned some incredibly lessons around handling challenges that, in the past, would have derailed her. Because of her new approach, she was able to restore her enthusiasm for her current job and her focus returned almost completely.
Debra went ahead and interviewed for the position at her friend’s company and they, essentially, offered her the position. Debra wasn’t convinced it was a good move for her but she continued to pursue the opportunity and scheduled additional interviews with stakeholders at the new company. Eventually, she was able to use the knowledge she gained in her current position to convince the company that the role they thought they needed was not actually beneficial for them and the job fell through. She saved them a lot of time and money going down a path that would have been a waste of time and she saved herself the heartache of failing to fulfill impossible expectations.
But, Debra was not discouraged at all because she recognized that this “near miss” was preparing her for what was next. She recognized that she now:
- Knew her value in the marketplace had increased
- Recognized she was open to new opportunities
- Learned a lot about how to handle challenges at work that had previously derailed her focus and enthusiasm.
Because of this near miss and Debra’s openness to new opportunities, within a couple of months she had a new, exciting job, which happened to start the week after her current company had significant layoffs!
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